3/19/11

Dear Papa,

How are you? I've been remembering you a lot the past couple of days. I hope you're doing fine, because I am. I have really good friends, and they always keep me company especially when I start missing you. So you shouldn't worry, because I'm in good hands.

I wonder what it's like to be where you are now. Last night I went with my friends to this place where everything looked very familiar - almost surreal. The scent of the flowers reminded me so much of you Pa. I don't know why but I felt heavy. I felt the same grief, as if I was reentering the funeral home for your wake again. I know it's going to be 3 years Pa, but it still doesn't change the fact that I long for a father to talk to, and cry to. A father who would tell me I'm the most beautiful girl in the world, when I know for a fact I'm not. A father who would embrace me and still accept me when I failed. I know I could not find any other man who would love me like you do Pa.

Remember the night when it rained so hard, and we didn't have an umbrella? You used your handkerchief to cover my head while we walked through the parking lot to the car. I looked up and I saw your hand over my head, shielding me from the pelt. But you didn't have anything; you didn't have anyone to cover your head for you. You were soaking wet when we reached the car. I cried that night Pa, because I pitied you. I was moved by how much you could sacrifice yourself, and your health just to keep me safe. You could have caught a cold for what you just did. But amazingly the next day, you were as healthy as can be. I don't know how you do that. I always thought you were Superman. I looked at you as the man who never grew tired of working, and especially loving us.

But what happened Pa? What happened 3 years ago on that early September morning? Seeing you being resuscitated to life by those doctors made me realize you were no Superman after all. That's when I knew every superhero - no matter how strong and invulnerable they seem - would somehow have their fall. I thought you were strong. I just want to tell you I forgive you Pa for leaving us so soon; for being weak when I needed you to be firmest. I still wake up in the middle of the night telling myself that this was all just a bad dream. But no matter how much I pinched myself would only remind me so much of how reality hurts.

Don't worry about us Pa. Darling is doing well in school, and Mama is as beautiful as ever. As for me, I found God here in Cebu. But I think it's more proper to say that He found me. Papa, I am just amazed at how God has worked in my life. He's even given me the most awesome friends in the world! And I have learned the way through college life without having to look at other's papers. Most of all, I have learned that as life is beautiful, so it is also short and uncertain. But I know I shouldn't be scared of death, for God promised it will be eternal bliss to His people. I know I'll get by all this, and I know someday we will meet again, and get caught up in those white fluffy clouds of Heaven. I'm sure you will be stoked to see me, now that I'm all grown up, and as tall as you already!

Looking forward to seeing you Papa!

with love and butterfly kisses from your Junior,

André